My Testimony!!
Testimonies hold so much power! Hearing testimonies from other believers has always moved me and strengthened my own relationship with God and view of his great power, love and mercy. So I thought I would share mine with y’all too. That way y’all can know me deeper if you read my future work, and the door is opened for God to use the story he orchestrated however he wants.
Now I’ll tell you right now, I don’t have a dramatic sob story testimony. I am the basic girl who grew up in a Christian home and has always had a relationship with God- seriously! When I was three years old I used to go to private Christian school and I was the only little kid excited to attend chapel while the rest of my classmates complained. But even though I had an initial foundation of faith, it did NOT mean God didn’t move and totally change my life.
First important component of my story is to note that even though I had a great child overall, my confidence and self-worth was diminished overtime. My relationship with my father wasn’t good- more to come on that later. By the power of the Lord and the journey of forgiveness he took me on (also more to come on that later), we’re in a much much better place now. However, growing up it was rough. I was a happy kid, but I struggled a lot with self-worth and confidence because of how I was treated. And by the time I reached middle school, combining that with the social pressures of being a teenager, well it wasn’t a great combination.
My first year and a half of middle school, my soul purpose became becoming popular. If I could just be accepted by the group of girls everyone thought were cool, pretty, and likable, I thought everyone would think I was cool, pretty, and likable too. So I sort of forgot about God for a little while. Church was an obligation. I was much more concerned with how many likes my Instagram posts were getting, the lunch table I was sitting at, and wearing outfits that the other kids would think were cool. Tears were shed when the group of girls I was fighting desperately to break into would hang out without me, ignore me at the lunch table, and whisper right in front of my face. I was finally “friends” with them and so close to getting the image I wanted, but I only felt worse. These friends weren’t even real. I couldn’t tell them anything and they didn’t care about me. I thought just being associated with them and being popular would fill the void in my heart. But it didn’t. So I was really lonely and insecure.
Until! Fall of 7th grade I started going to my youth group called The Barn. They do a retreat every fall and I signed up to go (mainly just because my friends went and my dad was a leader). I remember sitting and listening to one of the pastor’s messages one night. It was all about our purpose and what being a child of God really means. He talked about how the things of this world will never satisfy you. God has a purpose for our lives far greater than likes on social media and the lunch table you sit at. He wants to know us and use us for his great plans. And listening to that it was like a light bulb went off. I had real worth. I had a real purpose. What Jesus did on the cross actually meant something for my life. God cared about me and CHOSE me for great plans. SO COOL! And that changed everything about my perspective of what was important.
AND on top of that, that weekend was the first time I truly connected with Christ-centered community that would become life-long best friends and mentors. That retreat was the first time I met my best friend Anna who has quite literally been one if not THE biggest blessing in my life still to this day. God showed me that weekend what real Godly friendships are supposed to look like and how much sweeter they are than fake ones. When I got back to school, I started focusing more on being friends with Anna and the other girls at the barn. I stopped trying to change myself to be accepted and dedicating my life to popularity that wouldn’t even matter when school was over. Ever since then, my relationship with the Lord has grown in ways I couldn’t possibly have imagined at the time. I am absolutely BURSTING to tell y’all more about this. Because trust me after this moment, I’ve gone through a lot of things where God showed up and taught me so much. I have a lot to share about anxiety and mental health, childhood trauma/strained family relationships, forgiveness, hearing from the Holy Spirit and SO MUCH MORE! But I will write separate articles about all that so I can give all the fun details hehe.
Looooong story short Jesus FREED ME from my broken self and gave me new life in him full of purpose, love, joy, and hope. I owe every good thing in my life to Him. Even when I wasn’t deserving and completely ignored Him, He pursued me and filled me with his love. I hope God used some part of my story to resonate with someone out there. I would love to answer any questions and/or hear y’all’s stories too! Feel free to connect with me!
Love y’all SO much!!
-Regan
Picture of me and Anna on our FIRST fall retreat in 2016!!! Such babies hahaha
Fun fact we took this picture in the same spot every year for six years!! How cute is that???
